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Sunday, September 03, 2006

My brother is still in the hospital, still on 24 hour suicide watch. I have felt hopeless for the past few days, fearful that there was simply no reason for all of this, and that he had simply given up. But tonight I learned the reason, which was no small thing to hear, but at least it is something to work with, to move forward on. There is hope, after all.

Thank you all for your prayers, your positive thoughts, and concern. It makes a difference, that's for sure. Keep him in your thoughts. Let hope remain. There is a solution. He will get through this.

Now no joy but lacks salt,
That is not dashed with pain
And weariness and fault;
I crave the stain

Of tears, the aftermark
Of almost too much love,
The sweet of bitter bark
And burning clove.

When stiff and sore and scarred
I take away my hand
From leaning on it hard
In grass and sand,

The hurt is not enough:
I long for weight and strength
To feel the earth as rough
To all my length.

-Robert Frost, excerpt from To Earthward

  1. Blogger Michelle said:

    Oh dear how sad :(
    Its good to know "why", as you said it gives the appropriate people something to work with.
    All is not lost, here's hoping for a positive recovery :o)

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    sending warm hugs from nb. i hope your brother will get the help he needs, and that you can be strong for him. take care. poet

  1. Blogger Ben Heller said:

    The poetic lines say it all Cathy. I really hope he's finding his way out of this

  1. Blogger x said:

    as you said, there is hope. now that there is a reason, this hope is stronger. we are right here! :)

  1. Blogger sophie said:

    I wrote out a beautiful little
    intention for him and put it


  1. Blogger Cathy said:

    Thank you all, again and again.
    Sophie; I am looking forward to reading it. You are beautiful, for having done this. xo

  1. Blogger missy said:

    Lots of hugs for Cathy! xx

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    As long as there is hope...

    I'm still keeping your brother and you in my thoughts. Take care.

  1. Blogger blackcrag said:

    Is this hope for you to understand this, or hope for him to recover from this, and come off the suicide watch?

    I truly hope it is both, Cathy.

    I agree knowing why something occurred is a great relief, allowing you to put it in perspective or, at the least, giving you a frame of reference.

    One more hope: to hear good news about this soon.

    Take care,

  1. Blogger christina said:

    I'm so sorry, Cathy. You and your brother will be in my thoughts...

  1. Blogger Cathy said:

    Thank you for your support, friends.

    It is hope in the context that it can be understood by professionals and family. It is not him simply gone mad...there was a reason, and he has expressed this, and this gives us all hope (and, I suppose, him as well).

    This may be a long road.

  1. Blogger Heidi said:

    Continued prayers and postive thoughts. Hugs for you and your brother.

  1. Blogger Trundling Grunt said:

    Maybe sharing the reason is the first babystep on the way to recovery. I certainly hope it is and will continue to think of you and all your families at this trying time. There will be light.

  1. Blogger Pat Paulk said:

    There is hope!! Hang in there.

  1. Blogger marellecone said:

    I'm so sorry to hear this--stay positive. There is so much to live for--I'm sure your brother will see that for himself.

    When I saw those pics of your kids playing by the water recently, I tried to blog then. But, my kid shut my computer down on me. I wanted to say that your babe was growing so fast. So cute. They were great pictures.

    Take care, Lady. Thanks for coming by and checking up on me. Stay strong.

  1. Blogger Meow (aka Connie) said:

    Sending hugs and best wishes.
    Take care, Meow

  1. Blogger for_the_lonely said:

    Sending you and your family tons of love and support. I will keep you all in my prayers.


  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Your brother will continue to be in my prayers. I so hope they can help him now that they know what triggered this horrible event.

    Sending you bunches of hugs,

  1. Blogger Devil Mood said:

    We'll keep thinking about you and your brother. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm glad you think you found it.

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    Everything must be done in baby steps. Keep strong.

  1. Blogger sophie said:

    A "why" is good - very good -
    because then you get a
    "how" and a "when"

  1. Blogger Foxy said:

    wow, i see i have missing allot. i'm so sorry cathy. my prayers are with you and your family...*hugs*

  1. Blogger sjobs said:

    I am so sorry you are going through this all. It is nice to know that there is hope and you all can move forward.

    I will pray that he has a positive recovery and you all can find some peace.

  1. Blogger Berlinbound said:

    Peace your way ...

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    It is good to hear that there is hope. I'm still keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
    -stephanie (giant wow)

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