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Settling Back In

Monday, October 23, 2006

It has been hard for me to blog lately. Hard to do much of anything, really. But I am finding that I am slipping back into my normal routines, finding enjoyment again in the things I typically like to do, and laughing and smiling with the boys. My family has been in mourning. Although my brother did not succeed in killing himself, he has been cut off from us in such a dramatic and profound way as to effectively be out of our lives completely. At least for now, that is. Our calls go unreturned and we wonder how he is, what he is doing, is he frightened or sad? Perhaps he is happy. But I doubt it, since he lives with a vampire. The woman has been slowly draining the life from him for twenty years now.
Such is the stark contrast and juxtaposition of the extreme highs and lows of life.

  1. Blogger Trundling Grunt said:

    I feel so inadequate when reading your posts as there is little/nothing we can do other than to send you our best wishes and hopes that things will come right in the end.

    Hang on in there

  1. Blogger vani said:

    I'm sorry you and your family are going through this..keep trying to find joy in all the good things in your life. I will be back to check up on you.

  1. Blogger Connie and Rob said:

    Dear Cathy,
    I am so sorry you are having to go through such difficult times. Please know I am here for you if you just need to talk.


  1. Blogger Chloe said:

    ultimately we are the product of our choices. there is nothing you can do about it. maybe he doesn't have a choice now. but didn't he use to have a choice at some point?
    Take some time for yourself now and have some fun. The important thing is he knows you are there for him if he needs you.

  1. Blogger christina said:

    Oh, Cathy. I read your posts and just don't know what to say sometimes. I have two brothers myself so I can imagine how it must feel for you to be cut off from yours. But you are so right to try to get back to your normal family life and not let this take over completely. Thinking of you...

  1. Blogger Pat Paulk said:

    Glad you're beginning to find some joy back in your life. Hopefully, your brother will too.

  1. Blogger Devil Mood said:

    In the meantime, you've been publishing some lovely colourful pictures.
    It's not that I've been relating personal experiences from your posts but what I mean to say is that I understand what you're saying, perhaps because you explain it so clearly - it's easy to understand how you feel, even if I was never on your position.
    And I know that feeling when horror comes into your peaceful life - suddenly turning everything upside down and giving another meaning to everything we do.
    Take care, Cathy :)

  1. Blogger holy chaos said:

    hey cathy,
    I am glad that you are finding enjoyment again. I am praying as I know others are and I just had the thought that our prayers can go where you can't. God sees and He can help we we cannot.

    I hope that soon the days of mourning will be over, replaced with days of joy.

    take care.

  1. Blogger Heidi said:

    I'm glad to hear your settling back into a routine again. Maybe 1 day soon you wil be surprised with a call from your brother..I just have this feeling it will happen soon. Thinking of you~

  1. Blogger Hawkeye The Noo said:

    I am the brother of Horizon. I came here from her blog. Visit my blog please and read the last post or two. I will pass on the challenge I gave to Horizon also to you. Focusing on your kids in this way may be a little therapy for you as it is for me. Ps, My wife and I will be visiting Nova Scotia next year with the notion of looking into seeing if it is a place where we would like to move to in the next few years.


  1. Blogger PEA said:

    I know how much you'll always worry about your brother but your life has to keep going and I'm glad you've realized that. There is nothing you can do for him right now...he has to learn for himself what kind of woman he's with, the more he hears anything negative about her from others, the more he'll stubbornly stay with her. You take care of yourself and enjoy YOUR life!! Hugs xox

  1. Blogger [eric] said:

    Is he happy with her, or rather, does he realize what kind of effect she has on him? It's just that I understand first hand what damage another person can do, and it seems like he would be better served if he got away from her somehow.

    Thanks for you supportive comments on my blog, by the way. All of us are doing a little better, one hour at a time. oxo

  1. Blogger Christopher said:

    I'm not sure what to say so I won't ramble on. I just hope things work out for you. You're a sweet person.


  1. Blogger Ben Heller said:

    I think you're realising the wonders of your own family during all the turbulence with your brothers life.

    I think we have a tendency to put our home life on hold in times of crisis, and it must be so great to be able to reflect on all the wonderful things you have Cathy, especially when you consider your brother's situation.

    Home is where the heart is as my Dad constantly used to tell me.

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    You know I feel distant from my sister. What you are going through with your brother is similar to that, though for much different reasons.

    I guess when they are ready for us, they will make room in their lives for us again.

    I hope it is soon for you. Thinking of you, Cath.

  1. Blogger Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said:

    So sorry to hear about the terrible times. Sending prayers. Those types of vampires are the worst.


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