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Here comes another rant.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

My mother and father just returned from a trip to the New England states yesterday. They were there during the torrential rain. Didn't see a single leaf. She says. She has a right to complain about the weather. What a shit week for a vacation. My father's experience; wonderful, just wonderful; couldn's have asked for anything better. My mother's experience; Everything is negative, typical. Can barely say a good thing. Did you get to the craft store you wanted to go to? I ask. Yes, but someone had just gone to the bathroom and stank the whole place up. I couldn't walk through the store without my hand over my nose, it was awful. Have I mentioned that my mother has a fascination with all things related to bathrooms, toilets, potty humour, etc. It makes her giddy. There must be some disorder related to this.

One thing she did say that was positive, however was The people were sooo nice. She goes on and on describes the conversations she has had over the course of 9 days in great detail. Well, mom, they are in the hospitality business, that's why they were so, um, hospitable, maybe. One guy gave us directions and they were so very specific and we got there without any trouble. O.K., great. My mother loves anyone who fawns over her. But who has she ever fawned over? Hmmm.

In the course of one description of a conversation she has with a small shop owner in a small town in New York state, she tells me that he has never been to Canada and he tells her that he thinks it must be nice to live in Canada, where we have no crime, and people are all so friendly. She says to him oh, but we have terrible, awful crime and the people are just rude and terrible. Well, to some extent she is right; we do have crime and everyone is not friendly. But her scale is way off the mark. Compared to large American cities, our crime is substantially lower. The 10-year average homicide rates (1987-1996) for Canada averaged 2.3 per 100,000 people and for the United States averaged 8.8 per 100,000 people. But I digress.

My mother is afraid, scared, of pretty much everything. Burglars, shootings, snakes, snow storms....when she can't find her purse, this is often heard oh my god, someone stole my purse. Meanwhile, it is found later, tucked between the towels, so burglars (and she) can not find it if they are broken into.

On a recent visit with my son, I am in the living room and changing his diaper, when I notice that I can hardly see it is so dark in there. The blinds are completely drawn. It is a beautiful sunny day outside. Why are the blinds closed? I ask. She starts talking about the night before, how she heard gun shots in the neighbourhood; hadn't opened the blinds yet. Two o'clock the next afternoon. She is thinking the blinds will hold back bullets should someone shoot through their window. We do not live in east L.A., folks. A relatively small city in eastern Canada. Granted we have crime, and there are bad areas of town, and they live on the border of one of the bad areas, but dear God, a shooting through the window???? Crazy. Plain and simple paranoid behaviour.

I alternate between being annoyed and being amused by her antics.

  1. Blogger chase said:

    ...and the older they get, the worse it gets. I had to really put my foor down with jessicas grandmother on her fathers side, she told jessica "dont go swimming in the ocean because a shark could kill you", dont go walking in the woods, cause a snake could bite you"....she's got hundreds of em. Almost made my kid into a worrywart about everything...finally i just had to tell her. shut up. lol

  1. Blogger chase said:

    that was foot, by the way, not foor, lol

  1. Blogger Dr. Deborah Serani said:

    Interesting how your parents are so opposite in their outlook on life. I think its so great that you can sometimes chuckle at her behavior and her antics. It would be so hard pressing to be overhelmed by her all the time.

    PS: I have a mom like this too!


  1. Blogger Chloe said:

    mums! do you think we'll be like that one day?
    Shivering inside!

  1. Blogger OhioRuthie said:

    Enjoy them and all their antics while you have them...they will make great stories and memories later.

  1. Blogger Cathy said:

    I think I've heard my mom mentioning something about sharks, too...
    So you think the fact that we have mom's like this makes us over-achievers?
    Yes, the thought does make me shiver; worst insult ever is when someone says I am in any way like her.
    Above all else, you are so right. I'm on my way to her house for dinner tonight. I will mix annoyance with laughter for sure.

  1. Blogger No_Newz said:

    Holy mother of mother. :) Sounds like she could drive you crazy with one tiny phone call, huh? It does sound like a good trip though. My parents also had the magnet marriage. :)
    Lois Lane

  1. Blogger vani said:

    It's a good thing she didn't visit the city then- she would of really had to dodge some bullets! my mom is paranoid too- but then again she has many, many issues..lol..but never have they been entertaining to me, maybe i should look at it in that perspective. :)

  1. Blogger for_the_lonely said:

    LOL @ the potty humor...and I thought that my spouse was the only nasty one that found humor in it! Oh, the disgusting stories I could tell! LOL

    Hope that you are doing well!


  1. Blogger Cathy said:

    holy mother of mother; you can say that again.
    Sometimes I see the humour, sometimes I don't; when I don't, it is very hard for me to deal with. Sometimes I dig deep for the humour and still can not find it. Good luck with yours.
    Glad there's someone else out there who gets the potty humour thing; oh the stories I could tell too. At some point, maybe I'll disclose some of them.

  1. Blogger momsrus said:

    we all have our faults

  1. Blogger Rue said:

    EEP! I think the condition your mother has is "egocentricity" Odd that...considering it usually exists in Men LOL!
    However, I don't like to speak ill of someone else's parents.
    It makes me curious to know what your father's mother was like. Since they are so opposite there must have been something that interested him about her

  1. Blogger Cathy said:

    My dad's mom was a sweet, gentle woman. Very strong in spirit. No clues there. My parents have this wonderfully dysfunctional relationship that works for them. Marriages; every one is unique. To understand your own parents is beyond understanding, I think.

  1. Blogger Cathy said:

    oh, and yes, we all have our faults, that's why I just called this a rant....

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