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cathy


MIL

Sunday, July 23, 2006

What is it about some people, that they can not see any of the goodness in life and dwell on the badness and gloom? Even when there isn’t really anything terrible going on, they create something; the carpet needs fixing, the towels in the bathroom don’t match the bath mat…you know, stuff like this. This is my mother-in-law (MIL). Well, Mr. C’s whole family, really. With the exception of Mr. C. He is the complete opposite. Imagine Mr. Bean on Christmas morning. How he emerged as this happy-go-lucky person, from the life-is-a-crisis family, is beyond me.

We went for dinner to Mr.C’s mother’s house last night. She asked about my brother and I explained that he isn’t doing well, not at all. Her eyes glazed over and she then quickly changed the topic to her own woes (some of which are perfectly appropriate to be woeful about, mind you). It is the fact that she seems to put equal emphasis on all manners of woe that astound me; the carpet needs to be replaced (Insert Huge sighs and groans), is followed by the fact that her brother died three weeks ago, but she couldn’t go to the funeral because she’d recently had cataract surgery (Sighs, groans…), and the cat was just put down the day before, and her house will never ever be the same again, and she’s stressed out about her oldest daughter moving again, and then there is the constant work around the house, and life is hectic, oh, so hectic and busy….

So as not to come across as unsympathetic (her brother and her cat died over the span of three weeks, I know, I know…), I need to explain something about her.

Her life is the proverbial glass half empty. She never sees anything as a positive, even when it is. After dinner, my father-in-law asked my son to sneak downstairs to help him with something; they came back beaming, with a cake in their hands; it was a surprise wedding anniversary cake. MIL immediately scowled and got upset about the fact that they don’t need a cake, we’d just eaten pie, and what a silly thing, basically, to have done…she berated him. Made him feel terrible, and meanwhile all he’d done was attempt to make her happy. Fifty-six years later, and he hasn’t given up.

I could go on here. I think perhaps forever, but she is a difficult entity to put into words and writing, and I think I’ve already risked sounding cold here. So I think I’ll just leave it at that. The fact is, she’s a very unhappy and pessimistic person; someone who’s difficult to be around. Do you know anyone like this?...

  1. Blogger momyblogR said:

    I feel your pain completely. I think my MIL and yours were seperated at birth. UGH! I swear, that woman make me want to slit my own wrists. She drones on and on and ON....I hate it. Thank GOD she lives 17 hours from here by car and HATES to fly. LOL!

  1. Anonymous ants said:

    There is no more pleasent for an human, as speak of his health and woes. Yet if is not enough to him, he begins talk of maladies racking his familiars. What medicines they use, how there is no help of them and how silly are all medical men. In fact it is an expression of the inferiority complex! The human will be SOMEONE! Feel oneself important. Do You agree?
    I discovered Your blog quite accidentally. You write fine! Not all women have ideas (excuse me - many of them, like You, have) Yet a lot of them (women) do not care for world policy!! Mais - plus obscure est le ciel, plus claire brillent les etoiles! D'accord?!
    This comment is from Estonia. Do You know this country at all?

  1. Blogger Ben Heller said:

    It's diificult when you have someone that pessimistic as a Mother in Law, because whatever you do for her, it's never going to be right.

    My Gran sounds just like her, and everybody felt they had to tip toe around her.

  1. Blogger fb said:

    But secretlt they're smiling on the inside but are afraid to show in case they get taken advantage of...

  1. Blogger Heidi said:

    I feel for u and Mr. C...But what can u did..She not going to change her ways now :( Just grin bear and blog about it..

  1. Blogger Mahala said:

    My mother. Sometimes I worry I'll end up the same way lol.

  1. Blogger missbhavens said:

    Blecch. I work with a negative-nellie at work. It's like having the life sucked out of you with each conversation. And then when you pull out of conversing altogether you are still subjected to it because she talks into the open air whether you are listening or not. She is the most draining human being I've ever met.

    I am grateful that she is not my family.

    Yes: Grin and blog it!

  1. Blogger Chloe said:

    i know a couple of people like that. but when it's your mother in law it's the worst thing. because they are already at a disadvantage to begin with. (with me at least).
    I am going to post what my MIL said to me yesterday later. You are going to freak out my friend. (my mother in law woes are bigger than yours ahaahaaa, just joking). xxxxx

  1. Blogger Will D said:

    I would guess I am not the most positive person I know (I have the glass half empty so that I am happily surprised with it is actually half full).

  1. Blogger Heidi said:

    But what can u did..She not

    " do" "

    "she's"

    ugh I just came back to read and I saw my missing typos..lol sorry.

  1. Blogger Stephanie said:

    People like that are very draining to be around :( I was going to say "it's hard when they're family" but if they weren't, I suppose we'd just choose not to be around them. But, glass half full: somehow these people brought you Mr. C :) My SiL is impossible to please - she's a different sort of the same animal. Things are not always bad...but they're only good enough if they're done exactly her way. I just try to stay out of the way and she's given up trying to drag me into things.

  1. Blogger lady miss marquise said:

    Far too many sadly. But no one in as close a proximity as a mother in law. The Ex and his mother were like that. How I made it out alive is beyond me.

    Much love to you and your brother...

  1. Blogger Neo said:

    Cathy - Oh I know someone like that. She's at my office. Talk about whiner!!!! Geez....

    I think you hit the nail on the head. Some people just want to be miserable. It's like their calling in life or something.

    Hope your week gets better.

    Peace & Hugs,

    - Neo

  1. Blogger green eyed girl on planet earth said:

    Honey we all know someone like this,some are worse than others but the result is the same , we want to run away from them like out hair is on fire !It never ceases to amaze me how people can be so oblivious to their own behavouir ,and even when they have legit complaints as some in this case , you cannot help but want to run and hide
    goodluck enduring and may the daughter -in -law force be with you LOL
    G

  1. Blogger Jen said:

    People like that are hard to tolerate for long periods of time. That is amazing Mr. C. is so happy and cheerful!

    I know someone like that. He's a grumpy old man. Complains incessantly about everything. But the worst thing was when his son was dying of cancer. A bunch of us would be at the son's house to help out and sit with him, and the father would come in, groan, and complain about his aches and pains, how bad he feels, blah blah blah. While his son was lying in bed on narcotic painkillers to dull the cancer. The funny thing was the son had an extremely positive attitude and was cheerful up til the end. Several of us talked about tying the father up with duct tape and leaving him in the backyard. But our better sense prevailed.

  1. Blogger Michelle said:

    Indeed i do know of people like your MIL, only too well. It's extremely difficult, when you have a personality that is completely opposite and have to live with that person, just awful.

  1. Blogger Meow said:

    Unfortunately there are many (too many) people around like this. It's all I can do to not roll my eyes when they start droning !!! Sad that they are so unaware.
    Hope your week is going well.
    Take care, Meow

  1. Blogger Fuff said:

    Yeah. My mother in law. She's nasty too. Very sad.

  1. Blogger missy said:

    I've met people like that but I try to run away from them when I can!

    missy xx

  1. Blogger Dr. Deborah Serani said:

    It is very hard to be with people like that. I try to channel positive people in my life. There is so much drama as it is sometimes, who needs the 1/2 empty thinker.

  1. Blogger Trundling Grunt said:

    My MIL was a delight and was happy in spite of some pretty grim stuff. I find really negative people very wearing and wonder how (and why) they get up in the morning.

  1. Blogger Berlinbound said:

    In-laws ... You can't live with em ... You can't shoot em!

  1. Blogger Connie and Rob said:

    Life is just hard enough...you just don't need a constant reminder of how bad things are for certain people all the time.

    Take care,
    Connie

  1. Blogger vani said:

    I know many people like this- working in the "customer service" industry...I have dealt with many unhappy- downright miserable people. I just thank my lucky stars that I can see the big picture, and that I'm not like one of those people!

  1. Blogger vani said:

    ps..sorry about your brother. :(

  1. Blogger Cathy said:

    Thank you, kind friends, for all of your comments. I have been a bad blogger this week. Work and life have me at the bottom of a swamp. I'll be around to read your posts soon...

  1. Blogger blackcrag said:

    "Fifty-six years later, and he hasn’t given up." Now there's a definiton of love.

    Maybe being happy makes her feel vulnerable? I know a couple people like that, who can't enjoy anything good in their life because they always expect the other shoe to drop.

    And she is older now. If she didn't complain she'd have nothing to say at all. You might mention that to her, when next you meet her?

  1. Anonymous Anonymous said:

    What a great site » » »

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